ISSUE 70
21 JANUARY 2026 | READ ONLINE
Hi Reader,
Most people think the problem is that they don’t have clear goals. In reality, what I see far more often is this: they have goals, but they’re disconnected from what they actually want. And when that happens, motivation starts to feel like effort, discipline becomes a daily negotiation, and progress gets strangely inconsistent even for people who are very capable.
I remember, during my ICF coaching course, the trainer asked the class:
Tell me what you want, what you really, really want.
And yes, she was being funny about it. But I think she was onto something.
So, I’ve been digging into it some more to try and work out how to link the pieces together. Here’s what I’ve found:
Wanting is the raw signal. It’s emotional, sometimes inconvenient, and usually honest.
Desire is wanting with meaning attached. It’s the story you tell yourself about what ‘the want’ would give you.
Goals are desires translated into structure. A direction you can commit to, measure, and act on.
When those three are aligned, you feel momentum that doesn’t require you to bully yourself into action. When they’re misaligned, you can still look productive, but it’s the kind of productivity that drains you, because you’re pushing toward something that doesn’t actually feed you.
This is why ‘wanting’ matters more than we admit. Wanting is not a weakness. It’s data (and if you know me, you know I love data and experiments, hello PhD).
And if you ignore it long enough, it tends to come out sideways: in procrastination, in irritability, in a sense of restlessness that follows you even when you’re doing all the ‘right’ things.
So here’s a practical question for you:
What do you want, and what do you believe that want will give you?
Because that second part is where goals get made (or where they quietly fall apart).
For example:
- If you want a new role, what you might actually desire is agency (to choose how you spend your energy).
- If you want to build something new, what you might actually desire is meaning (to feel like your work matters again).
- If you want ‘more’, what you might actually desire is relief (from pressure you’ve normalized).
And this matters, because chasing a goal for the wrong ‘give’ creates an exhausting loop: you hit the milestone, but the feeling you were trying to reach never arrives. So you set another goal, and another, and the ladder keeps moving.
So this week, instead of setting bigger goals, try a different approach:
The 10-minute Alignment Check
- Write one sentence: “Right now, I want ___ ”
- Then: “I think it would give me ___ ”
- Then ask: “What’s one goal that would honor that — without blowing up my life?”
- Choose one tiny action you’ll do this week that proves you’re taking yourself seriously.
That’s the shift: not having more discipline (although, if you follow me on LinkedIn, you know that’s my word for 2026), but more honesty. Then one clean step that turns desire into direction.
See you next week,
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